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IN LOVING MEMORY
"Octavian"
This is my boy Octavian who on May 25, 2002 died from bloat after two days of surgery and hospitalization. He was the best thing
that ever happened to me, I loved him more than life it’s self. He was born on October 11, 1998; he was 3 ½ years old.
In remembrance of a son,
A great man once said that we have nothing to fear but fear it’s self,
I am afraid. Afraid of the future, a future without you and your companionship, a future that looks so dark and lonely since you
crossed that bridge into eternal life. But most of all I am afraid of the past and my personal demons that will haunt me until the day I die, that day
when I was so far away from you assured that all was well. It set’s heavy on my heart the thought of you there with two strangers talking
amongst themselves about how it was hopeless for you and that you would surely die, all the while you lying on that metal table wondering how the one who loved you the most could be so far away. I’m terrified to think that while you sat there in the final
minutes of your life you felt as alone as I do right now, you’ve left a void in my heart that nothing except seeing you again can ever fill, I now know all to well what a mother or a father feels when they
lose a child, a child that they raised, loved, and would have given their life for, I am afraid. I just hope that lying there you knew that if I could have given my life for
you I would have, I wish I would have been there for you when your soul transcended all the pain and suffering that you were feeling, I beg your forgiveness for not being as good a friend to you as you were to me, you were always
there, you will always be with me. It is said the brightest stars burn out the fastest and it’s true, you were my everything my life
revolved around you, loosing you was the hardest thing I have had to go through in my life, I will always remember and love you, you
are missed so badly by everyone whose life you touched.
God willing your children will be born in less than a week, I promise to love and cherish your son but never forget about his father, your “pappy
roves ya” and will see you again someday, until then I’ll see you in my dreams.
Your father,
Ryan
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