IN LOVING MEMORY
My beloved Herabell, Herrible the Terrible, Heree, Hairy Belly, Hella, Hair-RAH!, sweet and loving girl not even 3 ½ years old. Born 24 December 2001, I lost you April 7th, 2005 and I will never be the same. You were my golden girl. You were meant as a gift for
"that man" and yet you chose me as your person and I became known as the puppy thief.
No two souls were more suited for each other than ours. You were my shadow, my confidant, my warm body to cry upon, my first child. I miss you. My grief at your loss and the way you left me like a thief in the night cuts my heart and affects my life. I still wake at night wondering at what you had gone through, lying alone and in pain, confused about where you were and when I would be back to take you home. I abandoned you to a Dr. I did not know, frantic that you not suffer and yet by blithely agreeing to a surgery you
weren't strong enough to weather, I caused you more pain.
The Dr said you had Bloat and even though you hadn't eaten for four days, the surgery would pre-empt the torsion. I failed to look through your medical records to double check that you
hadn't already had your stomach tacked when you were spayed. To this day I
haven't been able to look. The fact is that I failed you. You depended on me to keep you safe and healthy and happy and I failed you. The pain and guilty horror of that fact will haunt me the remainder of my life.
Your human brother, Sean, has kept me from the dark depths of despair. You would have loved helping me raise him to be a lover of big dogs. Your sister Minerva keeps him entertained, but she does not have your infinite patience.
I miss you fiercely. I miss your sighs and groans as you settle yourself next to me at night, always careful not to settle on Sean, squeezed as close to me as you could get. I miss the way you chewed on my jaw and gave me funny kisses with your muzzle pursed like mine. I miss your awful stubbornness and your playfulness. I will love you always. My heart still beats for you.
Your mommy, little brother Sean and your sister Minerva