4 years ago...
My Savanah,
It's been 4 years since I last saw you, touched you, told you I loved you...if I had known then that I would never see you again, I would have stayed. But I didn't know. It was so late and Caitlyn was falling asleep in the waiting room. I'm so sorry. I thought I would pick you up the next day after your surgery and everything would be okay. But it wasn't. You were never going to come home again.
I was so happy when your vet called me at work the next day. I thought it was to tell me when I could pick you up. But it wasn't. You were still in surgery. She said you had cancer all through your liver. Da*n it! She wasn't supposed to say that! She was supposed to say, "Savanah did great. The surgery went wonderfully. Come and get her!"
Instead I heard, "Do you want us to wake her up so you can say goodbye?" What? Goodbye? Really? I heard myself saying to let you go, I didn't want you to wake up in pain. I hope I did the right thing, Savanah. I wish I could ask you that. Would you have wanted to say goodbye to me, sweetie? I really hope you understand my decision to let you go. I just wish I knew the answer.
I hung up, ran into the bathroom, locked the door and collapsed. My co-workers were yelling at me to open the door. They all loved you too, Savanah. You touched everyone at my shop. I opened the door and we cried together. You were so special, still are...
I couldn't work, so I went home. Chance greeted me but looked behind me expecting to see you. He looked confused. That was March 6, 2008, the day a huge part of my heart left me. I'll never ever get it back. I miss you, Savanah, more than I could possibly put into words. So I won't try. Just know that I think about you each and every day and I always will.
I love you Naners,
Mom
My beautiful girl:
It's been 4 years since I last saw you, touched you, told you I loved you...if I had known then that I would never see you again, I would have stayed. But I didn't know. It was so late and Caitlyn was falling asleep in the waiting room. I'm so sorry. I thought I would pick you up the next day after your surgery and everything would be okay. But it wasn't. You were never going to come home again.
I was so happy when your vet called me at work the next day. I thought it was to tell me when I could pick you up. But it wasn't. You were still in surgery. She said you had cancer all through your liver. Da*n it! She wasn't supposed to say that! She was supposed to say, "Savanah did great. The surgery went wonderfully. Come and get her!"
Instead I heard, "Do you want us to wake her up so you can say goodbye?" What? Goodbye? Really? I heard myself saying to let you go, I didn't want you to wake up in pain. I hope I did the right thing, Savanah. I wish I could ask you that. Would you have wanted to say goodbye to me, sweetie? I really hope you understand my decision to let you go. I just wish I knew the answer.
I hung up, ran into the bathroom, locked the door and collapsed. My co-workers were yelling at me to open the door. They all loved you too, Savanah. You touched everyone at my shop. I opened the door and we cried together. You were so special, still are...
I couldn't work, so I went home. Chance greeted me but looked behind me expecting to see you. He looked confused. That was March 6, 2008, the day a huge part of my heart left me. I'll never ever get it back. I miss you, Savanah, more than I could possibly put into words. So I won't try. Just know that I think about you each and every day and I always will.
I love you Naners,
Mom
My beautiful girl:
9/06 - 8/11
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