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  • 4 years ago...

    My Savanah,


    It's been 4 years since I last saw you, touched you, told you I loved you...if I had known then that I would never see you again, I would have stayed. But I didn't know. It was so late and Caitlyn was falling asleep in the waiting room. I'm so sorry. I thought I would pick you up the next day after your surgery and everything would be okay. But it wasn't. You were never going to come home again.

    I was so happy when your vet called me at work the next day. I thought it was to tell me when I could pick you up. But it wasn't. You were still in surgery. She said you had cancer all through your liver. Da*n it! She wasn't supposed to say that! She was supposed to say, "Savanah did great. The surgery went wonderfully. Come and get her!"

    Instead I heard, "Do you want us to wake her up so you can say goodbye?" What? Goodbye? Really? I heard myself saying to let you go, I didn't want you to wake up in pain. I hope I did the right thing, Savanah. I wish I could ask you that. Would you have wanted to say goodbye to me, sweetie? I really hope you understand my decision to let you go. I just wish I knew the answer.

    I hung up, ran into the bathroom, locked the door and collapsed. My co-workers were yelling at me to open the door. They all loved you too, Savanah. You touched everyone at my shop. I opened the door and we cried together. You were so special, still are...

    I couldn't work, so I went home. Chance greeted me but looked behind me expecting to see you. He looked confused. That was March 6, 2008, the day a huge part of my heart left me. I'll never ever get it back. I miss you, Savanah, more than I could possibly put into words. So I won't try. Just know that I think about you each and every day and I always will.

    I love you Naners,
    Mom

    My beautiful girl:













    Karen, Chance, Lucy and Savanah RB

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  • #2
    O MY GOD
    that was beautiful and so so sad and I am crying.
    Sorry you lost your precious girl.
    You did the right thing.
    sigpic

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    • #3
      I'm so sorry for your loss

      Just reading your post made me tear up.
      sigpic
      Hamish: Great Dane born July 25 2011
      Sophie: English Mastiff born May 30 2009
      Visit my blog at http://gonetothebigdogs.wordpress.com/

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      • #4
        I'm so sorry for your loss. You made the right decision, even though it still haunts you. She knows how much you loved her. No matter how many years pass, it is normal to still question if we did the right thing.

        RIP pretty Savanah
        sigpic Brenda
        RIP Gibson 9/06 - 8/11
        Presley 8/96 - 11/06

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        • #5
          Oh my gosh Karen! Let's see if I can type through these tears. That's so sad. I think reading about Savanah brought back some painful memories of my own. Rest assured you will see her again one day.

          Martha
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          • #6
            I'm tearing up, what a beautiful tribute. She obviously was very loved...
            Mary
            Eve, sweet couch potato DA GD, 2009-
            Louie, rescue cat, 2011-
            Jazz, sweet, loving GD, 2008-2010
            Max, BYB GD, 2000-2007
            Gabby, rescue Lab, 1998-2008
            Dusty, rescue sheltie mix, 1980-1992

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            • #7
              [SIGPIC]

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              • #8
                Just lots of hugs

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                • #9
                  It's just been getting harder every year...how do I know she knew how much I loved her? It just keeps going through my mind that the last time she saw me I was walking away and leaving her in a strange place. The last people she saw were strangers...maybe she thought I abandoned her? God, that just kills me!!! It's been 4 years and I can't get by the thought of her wondering where we were. I don't want to think that her last feeling was being scared.

                  I want to do it over...but I know I can't...I just miss her so very much.
                  Karen, Chance, Lucy and Savanah RB

                  sigpic

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                  • #10
                    She knew you loved her. It's helpful to keep in mind that they are in touch with the energy we call 'love' in ways that we humans are less sensitive to. We are forever being rational. Our hearts are with you.
                    Ann & John and Navy (b. 1/5/14)
                    Whisper (Avatar 3/9/07 - 11/19/13)

                    Zip (2000-2007 - waiting at the Bridge)
                    http://dolforum.com/forum/image.php?...ine=1215894342

                    Also at the Bridge: Woof, Natasha, Kippie, Black Jack, Thumper, Nigra Altair and Sean

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                    • #11
                      What a beautiful tribute


                      ---
                      I am here: http://maps.google.com/maps?ll=50.898309,-114.102445
                      sigpic
                      Jazmin - Great Dane (June 15, 2011)
                      Maia - Great Dane/Lab (Nov 2007)
                      4 cats - Marvin, Koskie, Xander (Monkey), Alexa

                      Julius - Great Dane (adopted May 19, 2012, passed away June 20, 2012)
                      Tiernan - Great Dane (Feb 13, 2008-Dec 28, 2011)[/I]

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                      • #12
                        Im so sorry for your loss.

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