4 month old Dane bit my son twice now...

[Dextermakes7]

We brought Dexter home as a puppy, 10 weeks. He came from a bad place, nasty, deplorable conditions. He has always been timid of my husband, we are assuming either didn't see men enough or was hurt by one. Likes the attention from my husband but wasn't forthcoming to him. Now he is much better with him.

Problem is my 2 year old. He is a very small person at just 20lbs. Dexter is 40+. The 2 year old is always picking at him, smacking on him, running into him. I stop it immediately and have made it very well known in the house that he is NOT to torment the dog in any way (we have 3 other children who the dog is just perfect with). But the 2 year old wants to play, he is just rough and Dexter seems to know he can bite him.

First bite a few months ago, baby tried to reach down to the food bag....Boom, bite.

Second bite was day before yesterday, again centered around food. My fault, I became lax and left the dog in the kitchen to eat and my son went in and did something and he bit him. This time, breaking skin on his upper arm. Not even a bandaid was needed.

Tonight, the baby was tapping the pillow he was laying on and Dex reached out and tried to nip at him, luckily I was right there and popped his nose. He immed. stopped and layed his head back down.

Here is the thing: My husband wants him gone. He does not want to take a chance on him again. I understand this. I don't think he is aggressive, I think he is frustrated with my 2 year old, understandably. I am trying to make my husband understand that is was my fault I left them alone and that he isn't just out biting people.

What are the thoughts? Is it too late? Do I need to re-home him? I really love him and I don't want to give up. Are there classes to teach the bite inhibition? what else can I do?

*No he has not had any training, we were forced to move suddenly die to flooding/mold and haven't quite built back up the funds do the classes
*Up to date on shots
*The kids will not be left unsupervised

[Loki Love]

At least you acknowledge this is your fault. Puppy is being pestered and no one is sticking up for him or giving him an out. It's not fair to your 2 yr old and it's certainly not fair to your puppy.

He's young.. and now he has a bite/nip record. If you aren't 100% committed to working on this immediately and having the ENTIRE family on board (including the husband).. then yes, rehome him now while he's still young. If you don't make immediate changes - you're going to have a bigger problem and a bigger liability on your hands.

Edit: I've changed my mind - you should just rehome him. 2 bites/nips and nearly a third within a couple of months. Game over. If you didn't take it seriously after the first time and make changes, I'm not convinced you will now. Best for everyone that he gets into a home where training and proper supervision can be done immediately.

[Greenmagick]

I do NOT say this lightly....this dog needs to be rehomed.

There are just WAY too many things here that are not going to be able to be changed quickly enough to a. keep the baby safe and b. give the pup a chance at a life before becoming full out aggressive and needing to be put down.

Please, in the meantime, do NOT HIT (or pop which is the same thing) your dog...this is only making it WORSE.

Where are you located? This boy needs to go to an experienced rescue who can put him in a foster home to immediately work on rehabbing him before its too late.

[Dextermakes7]

Your post made me tear up. I know this is what I have to do. I just emailed Great Dane Rescue of Tampa Bay and we'll see what they can do. I feel so defeated because I wanted him so bad, I wanted my kids to have this bbig family dog. It sucks, it really does.

[Greenmagick]

Its the right thing, though very hard.

you mentioned he had a really rough start, that can be very hard to overcome without very knowledgeable people working with the pup.

[DANEger]

It is best for everyone to give him to rescue...it will give him a chance a a better life with proper training, and eventually, give you peace of mind. A dog is a HUGE commitment and it sounds like your current situation is not the best for him.

You can't live w/fear of your child being bit again...he's given lots of "warnings" but no telling when he will truly bite.

And the dog can't live without security of knowing that he's safe from being bothered by a toddler, and not knowing what's an appropriate way to react.

[angeldane]

You are doing the right thing.
I also hope you realize that purchasing a puppy from a horrible place put you at a disadvantage from the start.
2 year olds will be two year olds, you wait 3 years before another puppy and get the puppy from a legit breeder who has spent time with the pups so they know what people are.
Puppies shouldn't be unsocial with anyone as a 10 week old, but they also enter into a fear stage right around 10 weeks. So from probably an isolated gross barn to too much kids, husband, the world.
So really lots of lots of environmental possibly even a poor temperament.
Pup is better off removed as you already said, but that pup is certainly not a representation of the average pup.
Though even a good social pup can become kid aggressive if the kids aren't completely supervised esp a 2 year old.
If/when your youngest is 5 things will be much more managable on top of getting a normal acting pup.
No pup should show food aggression that is a sign he was neglected as a pup and the litter was unfeed.
Good luck for future purchases, and that young pup should find a good home by the rescue

[LSUdane]

This is the path I am afraid of going down as well... Although I have seen many of my friends/families who have very young kids try and introduce a puppy into the mix, it doesn't always seem to go well.

If the older kids were able to understand the rules, I am willing to bet you can re-try the puppy in a few years when the toddler is older.

[Greenmagick]

Honestly, I see NOTHING wrong with getting a puppy with a young child or toddler BUT you have to make sure the personalities mesh. You have to be very proactive in the relationship and management. You have to have things set up for success.

Personally I can not imagine raising my children when they were younger without dogs but it takes the right blend of personalities and lots of work.

[Rootlis]

I always thought that having a dane puppy was quite a bit like having a toddler. Managing two toddlers at once makes for lots of management and sometimes impossible situations. People who have twins or triplets have no choice in the matter, but at least you can usually leave two human toddlers together and not have to worry about one of them seriously biting the other.

Re-homing really did sound like the best solution for young Dexter, because he's going to need some fairly intensive help to overcome a rough start and it didn't sound like the OP was going to be able to do that. I'm hoping the OP will follow through with the rescue, let us know how that goes, and will hang around here for the educational benefits

[themamabeth]

I always thought that having a dane puppy was quite a bit like having a toddler. Managing two toddlers at once makes for lots of management and sometimes impossible situations. People who have twins or triplets have no choice in the matter, but at least you can usually leave two human toddlers together and not have to worry about one of them seriously biting the other.

Re-homing really did sound like the best solution for young Dexter, because he's going to need some fairly intensive help to overcome a rough start and it didn't sound like the OP was going to be able to do that. I'm hoping the OP will follow through with the rescue, let us know how that goes, and will hang around here for the educational benefits

We have three kids-4,3.5, and 1.5.

You pretty much nailed it that having the puppy is like having an additional toddler! It is constant juggling to not leave them unsupervised, to make sure that the littler kids are being appropriate and gentle, that no one is climbing into dog crates or on dog beds...We knew what we were signing up for when we got him and some days I still want to pull my hair out.

Even with the frustrations though, I think it is worth it. There's so much they are learning from having the dogs, but we've also been fortunate that our dogs have fit well into our family.

[thisiscyndi]

Your post made me tear up. I know this is what I have to do. I just emailed Great Dane Rescue of Tampa Bay and we'll see what they can do. I feel so defeated because I wanted him so bad, I wanted my kids to have this bbig family dog. It sucks, it really does.

I just wanted to give you some support in this decision. I have a Great Dane, Emma, that came from a very similar situation that you are describing -- raised in a barn, dirty, covered in fleas, no socialization. Came home to her 1st family at 10 weeks old and had issues with their young boy. She barked, growled, and lunged at him constantly. They tried for 10 more weeks to resolve the problem and then she bit him. They surrendered her to rescue and it was the absolute best thing they could do for her. Emma is with us now, we have no kids and she is a wonderful dog at home with us. She is exactly where she belongs. In addition to reactivity to kids and some adults, she was resource guarding everything (food, toys, doorways, water bowl) which is part of what led to the initial bite. We have spent a fortune on classes, trainers, behaviorists, and vets - not to mention the time and energy to get her where we are now (which is "managed" and never ever "cured"). She has never bitten again in the year and a half we've had her. She no longer resource guards -she will bring bones to me to hold for her to chew on, eat out of the same bowl as Logan, play tug of war with him, and chew on very high value raw bones right next to him (they even "swap" bones). She is trained in obedience and starting nosework. She goes on epic road trips with us, stays in hotels, visits national parks. Emma has a good life but it could have ended so much differently... she could have been put to sleep.
The issue right now is NOT what you did right or wrong in the beginning (please never pop, jerk or yell at dog for correction - it makes the behavior worse) the important thing is to do right by this pup NOW. Time is running out for him to have good interactions with kids so that he doesnt develop reactivity that is impossible to remedy.
I know it is heartbreaking for you and it feels like you are failing this pup, but based on your first post I really feel that you are making the correct choice to rehome through rescue. This pup needs someone to start rehabbing him immediately. It will be hard and your kids may be really upset with you, but I guarantee once it is done and the tears have dried a little you will feel a sense of relief. I keep in touch with Emma's former family and they are so happy to see her doing well. It was terribly heartbreaking for them, but they know it was the right thing to do.

[Dextermakes7]

I have not heard back from any of the rescues I have emailed/called. My husband and I have talked extensively. We are thinking about keeping him. Getting in into training classes, possibly doing a muzzle when in the house with the little one. (looking more into this). Dexter could have bit my son hard, could have punctured skin but didn't. It was like he was telling him to get away. I watched him with the baby today, he nudges the baby to pet him, he lets the baby pat him.

I just keep telling myself that once he gets out of this puppy phase, my son grows bigger...this will be okay.

Am I wrong? This is my first Dane, I researched him for weeks on end. I want this to work out. I love him.

I can handle the honesty, just looking for thoughts again. Thanks.

[Greenmagick]

If you are really considering keeping him you need more than training, you need an actual behaviorist involved asap. You need to really be upfront and honest in what needs to be changed and really proactive in keeping up with it.

I am a huge proponent in working things out, in training and behavior modification, etc. Honestly, in your case it sounds like this is very unlikely to work out. I dont mean that to sound rude. I also realize sometimes things sound worse when you dont actually see whats going on....maybe (very slight maybe) thats the case here.

So yeah, find a good, QUALIFIED behaviorist who knows positive ways to help your dog feel comfortable with your 2 year old and is not afraid to give you honest opinions. If you need help, let us know and we can maybe help you find someone....

[bluebeetlemom]

I have always looked out for the safety of my kids before any other considerations (this is not a judgement, it is telling you where I am coming from in the thought process). I could never trust the dog again. I have admiration for people that have the wherewithall to go through intensive training, I know I could not have done it. We had a dog (that we knew before we had kids that she was fearful of kids, were very naive then about dog matters). Dog was always successful in avoiding my daughter. However, when daughter was about 15 months old, she very quickly darted across the room into the chair where doggy was sleeping (she wasn't even targeting the dog, she was just enjoying her mobility). Doggy bolted awake and instantly snapped and got my daughter in the ear. I WAS IN THE ROOM, AND COULD NOT REACT FAST ENOUGH TO STOP IT! Doggy immediately went to Grandma's until a good home could be found. I would never have had a moment's peace if doggy stayed.