ZERO Confidence Dane. (Rant)

[StacyDub]

I'll admit it. I'm frustrated. Really, really, "locked myself in my room, throwing stuff"-FRUSTRATED.

I've tried to so hard to raise Crash right. She's in perfect health, gets all the food and toys and collars she could want. She gets regular trips to the dog park, a whole couch, a kennel that's competes with the twin sized bed my boyfriend and I SHARE, and gets to play in the yard several times a day. I've given her everything I can. But she has ZERO confidence.

Strangers are still scary. We've been to countless Flea Markets, Fairs, Carinvals, Dog Parks, Doggie Play Days...we've been to Petco, Petsmart, TSC, Farmers, Lowes, and "people" parks. But she's still scared of EVERYTHING.

Neighbor kids? -"bark and run away, hide behind mom"
Dog Barks on TV? -"Go Hide behind the front door"
Truck drives by with a 4 wheeler on it? -"Go hide on the porch"
Mom says "NO!"-" world falls apart, slink into kennel. Cry. Sulk. Come out 10 minutes later like nothing happened".

I want my dog to have some CONFIDENCE! I want her to realize that she weighs 78 pounds and me saying "NO!" is not the end of the world-I just want her to stop what she's doing.

Just now, I had Crash sitting beside the wall so I could take a pic of her in the new dress I made for her. She did really well, then I turned her so I could get a pic of the back. She started to lay down, so I said "no, sit"-she cowered down like I had beaten her-I didn't even lay a hand on her! David starts yelling at me "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER??". NOTHING. I did NOTHING. I told the dog to sit and her world falls apart.

I'm at a loss. What can I do to build some confidence for this poor dog ??

[Devil Dog]

You put a dress on a dog and want her to "model" the dress for you...and you wonder why she has problems.

Dee

[StacyDub]

You put a dress on a dog and want her to "model" the dress for you...and you wonder why she has problems.

Dee

The dress doesn't affect her movement or comfort in any way. It's made out of a jersey knit material. It's totally open in the front with a velcro closure for her belly. There is no shoving/pulling to get it on. It slides over her head, then velcros under her. I would never put something on her that would make her uncomfortable. It's no different than a jacket-except that it's cute. She's a girl dog-every lady should have a dress 'just in case'. She enjoys standing and getting petted while I pinned it and was fine until I turned her. I fail to see how the dress affects her 'mini breakdown'.

All the same. Thanks for the constructive post.

o.O

[WeLoveOur7Dogs]

Some dogs are just naturally more reserved. I think your best bet is to try and see things from her perspective and make things as happy and positive as possible. Helping her to have a good time goes a long way, more so than her just going along with whatever and "accepting" it. If it's fun for her, she'll gain confidence. Have you ever taken an obedience class? If so, think about an agility class.

[danemommd]

How old is crash? I'm guessing from your first post on the forum that she's about 10 months old? She's still just a baby. Some pups are shy. Other folks on the forum can probably advise you better that I can on this issue. I've read that these issues can be genetic or have to do with early socialization (with mom).
From my personal experience: I had a pup that took at least a year to work through her issues...it was a lot of constant work but was worth it. By the time she was 1.5 years old, she had confidence and was fine interacting with strangers, etc. Again, Crash is young, keep working with her...

[Enhanced]

I have been having some concerns about Roman lately, I used DOL as a sounding board and got some excellent advice...It was to seek a professionals help. I made an appointment within hours of the post and I already feel better knowing that I am going to be given the tools I need to assist Roman to have the best quality life possible. I have yet to read or hear anyone who went to a qualified professional say they wish they had not. I am going to be proactive so that I do not end up with a problem beyond my scope of abilities.

I urge you to seek help from a reliable and qualified professional. It will also help to alleviate some of the pressure you are feeling, you wont be going at it alone with a pro to help you. An unemotionally invested person who is a professional couldn't hurt.

[StacyDub]

Crash will be turning 8 months old next week. She's still a baby...you're right. I guess the best I can do is "Stay the course"....and just hope she grows out of it. She HAS been getting better...she's sniffing hands and hiding less....but every time she has a breakdown, I feel like we've lost ground. I just want so much for her to be happy....there's just no way that she can be happy constantly living in fear.

I've found a trainer in my area and sent her an email tonight...we'll see how that goes. I figure I might as well, at this point. It can't hurt...

*sigh*

Thank you guys for the feedback. I'll keep you updated on how it goes.

Thanks!

[danemommd]

Yes, please give us updates so we can appreciate her progress. I'm glad you found a trainer to help. You are headed in the right direction. Keep doing daily ventures into public places to meet strangers. Remember, everyone loves to try to pet a great dane pup. It will get better

[Meatos]

Trainer is your best bet for a fearful dog. Remember that Crash's actions (namely barking) are highly reinforced by the scary object moving away. Every time she does this and it works for her, the behaviour is reinforced. So yes, she might be getting a ton of socialisation, but she is learning something you don't particularly want her learning! And the experiences have to be all 100% positive for her, too. If a sensitive dog has too many negative experiences during socialisation, then it's just moot. This was one of my problems with Scarlett.

[CoH]

I think you should research the growth (emotional) stages of the giant breeds. Many act this way about this age. If you are forcing a shy personality too much and too fast, you'll make it worse.

I am glad you're seeking a trainer and I hope they can help you appreciate your dog for the dog it is and the age/stage of life it is. Life is too short, appreciate the journey.

[StacyDub]

. Life is too short, appreciate the journey.

Very well said! Thank you! I'll let you know what I hear from the trainer. I've never met her....I'm a little nervous about it. We shall see!

Thanks everybody! I apperciate the encouragement!

[Enhanced]

I think its fantastic that you are going to seek a professionals help.

I am excited about my appointment for Roman on Sunday. I feel confident that the behaviorist I am seeing will help both Roman and I. I feel it is important for Roman and I both to have a positive rapport with the trainer. There has to be trust between you, the trainer, and your dog. I am lucky in the sense that Roman and I both have met the trainer a while ago and had a chance to speak at length about Danes and dogs in general. I hope you click with your perspective trainer. If you are hesitant with the one you are meeting the most advantageous thing to do might be to find a better suited trainer.

Be proud, admitting you might need help can be difficult. I am sure you would agree that abandoning one's pride in exchange for a lifetime of security, happiness, and fulfillment for you and your pup is worth it.

[Carolyn]

A dogs inherent temperament is who the dog is........all the training and socializing in the world wont change it.
Training and socializing can help, but sensitive dogs will always be sensitive. You can desensitize only so far.

You need to figure out if this is the case with Crash, and if so, gear how you handle her around that. Since you know that you telling her NO gives her a meltdown, dont do that anymore. Use a different word and a gentler voice.

[Meatos]

I agree that changing the word is a good idea. Check out Greenmagick's blog - she has posted a Kikopup video about "the positive interrupter." The positive interrupter takes the place of NO or EH EH, etc. and helps the dog learn to stop what he/she is doing without being fearful or intimidated or feeling like he/she has done something wrong.

You should totally look into clicker training for behaviour modification. It works great for soft dogs.

[kwhit]

A dogs inherent temperament is who the dog is........all the training and socializing in the world wont change it.
Training and socializing can help, but sensitive dogs will always be sensitive. You can desensitize only so far.

These words should be gospel to you if this is, indeed, her personality.

Chance is sensitive. Would he have been different if I had had him since he was a young puppy? I don't know...I got him at a year old and he was extremely cautious then and he still is to some degree now. Took him 2 years to actually sit up in the car and look out the window. But to this day, he will still lie down when the car is moving.

I go to a local pet store to give Chance and Lucy a bath, (we go every two weeks), and every time when we leave, Chance will panic when the automatic doors open. Not when we go in, only when we leave. I just say, "C'mon Chance", and that's it, he's over it. The very first time he ever went through them, it took 5 minutes. From then on, it took less and less time, to where he is now with them. It's been 4 years, so I don't think he'll progress to being completely comfortable with them, but that's ok.

These two examples of how Chance reacts to certain things, (there are many more that I could list), confirms what Carolyn meant by "You can desensitize only so far". After all this time, Chance is as far as he will progress with both car rides and auto doors. And again, that's ok, because that's the best he can be in those situations. And I accept him for what he is, a cautious and sensitive dog.

Do I stop taking him places? Of course not. Do I know his limits? You bet! I never push beyond his comfort level and I never make a fuss when he reacts to something. I ignore the behaviour and just always say, "C'mon. Chance". I guess that phrase is our mantra because when he hears it, he calms down. Not totally, but enough to move on.

Maybe this is a phase Crash is going through, but if it's not and this is who she is, memorize Carolyn's words. They're pure wisdom...