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Sharing Loss and Looking Forward

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  • Sharing Loss and Looking Forward

    I wanted to share a story of loss. So many of you have lost your loved ones lately. It's been 3 years since I lost Shadow and yeah I still cry at times but she has shaped me into the person I am today. Each animal we bring into our lives just makes us stronger.

    I don't usually blog my life's not that interesting to talk about really. I just needed to say this to myself and to everyone who cared about Shadow. I found Shadow in a pasture with 20 other horses. When I walked up to the fence and whistled only one horse came. Shadow ran up to me, bright and beautiful with her blue eyes...I knew she was my horse. Shadow was 3yr old solid black paint, she was 16hands, with one blue eye and one half brown half blue eye, she had a large white marking on her face and one white stocking. I bought her a month later and began a long and wonderful bond. Shadow and I had lots of growing to do we taught each other how to ride and let someone ride. She never bucked or kicked. She trusted me and I trusted her. Through broken arms and colic we were best friends. When ever I was sad or lost I went to Shadow and she always lowered her head and let me cry with her she listened and understood...years went on and people and horses we loved came and went but we were still together. The best years I had with her are when I lived on my farm where every morning I woke up to her beautiful silhouette in the morning light. Everyone who rode her loved her she touched so many people by making them lose their fear of horses she was such a gentle spirit and never met a stranger.

    Then Shadow got sick, she coliced. We drove her down to UGA in Athens at 2am to have emergency colic surgery they pumped over 22 liters from her stomach. They said she had a 50% chance of living and those seemed like good enough odds to me. The surgery was expensive thousands of dollars. But her life was worth fighting for...they did the surgery and she lived.. 2 weeks of refluxing not knowing if she would live or die...but finally Shadow was able to come home. When I picked up Shadow the wonderful vet techs were in tears as I lead her away with a french braided tail they had worked on all morning. The vet said she might still get sick again or she may be fine. But, Shadow got sick every other month...painful cramps, gas, and bloating. I always drove home praying that she would still be alive when I got there...and everyday she was I thanked God because it was another day I had with her. Shadow got sick again...this last time was hard she was in a lot of pain and wasn't getting better after hours of drugs and rest. Shadow could not stand no matter how hard we tried, my 16h big proud mare couldn't stand up anymore...this wasn't the life I wanted for her I never wanted her to be in pain but she was hurting so much. I talked to the vet who was my strength through it all and she said I had done everything I could. I walked to where Shadow was laying and laid my head against hers and told her it was time. With the last bit of strength Shadow walked with me to her final resting spot and I laid with her holding her with big head resting in my lap till she went home to God....I don't blame God and I know I did all I could and I know people may not understand the loss I've felt or think animals don't matter very much but she mattered to me and I hope someone would do the same for me because Shadow had given me more than most humans. She gave me unconditional love, trust, hope, a shoulder to cry on, an escape from the world, and a friend...I just want to finish with thanking God for the time he let me spend with her I wouldn't trade it for the world. If your reading this just remember we only have this one life to live and we don't know how much time we have here...please love and be happy, "carpe diem" seize this day today it may be your last. Love your family love your friends love your pets....Thank you and Shadow may God rest your beautiful soul and thank you for blessing me with the years we spent together they were worth every tear...

    In Raven's Shadow

    AKA Shadow

    Passed at 7yrs old

    I wrote this right after she passed. It was my closure and her story. Before Shadow passed I drew a horse running in a notebook. When Shadow passed I picked up the notebook and decided this is what I would remember her as. Running free, running with me running in my Shadow always.


    Dani and Cinder

  • #2
    How touching. Thank for sharing.


    • #3
      Yet another story that brings tears but it is always touching to read how another being (human or animal) touches our lives. Thanks for sharing. Shadow clearly was very special.
      Eve, sweet couch potato DA GD, 2009-
      Louie, rescue cat, 2011-
      Jazz, sweet, loving GD, 2008-2010
      Max, BYB GD, 2000-2007
      Gabby, rescue Lab, 1998-2008
      Dusty, rescue sheltie mix, 1980-1992


      • #4
        shadow was a beautiful mare and it is obvious you loved each other very much. i can't tell you how many times i walked outside and cried into tuffy's mane. our animals, big and small, give us so much. for us to give them a peaceful send-off is a gift to them even though it makes us sadder than we ever thought we could be.

        thanks for sharing shadow's story.


        • #5
          Shadow was a gorgeous horse! Thanks for sharing your touching story. Even though it hurts so much to lose one of our beloved animals, the years we have them in our lives is always worth it! RIP Shadow

          ETA love your tattoo!
          sigpic Brenda
          RIP Gibson 9/06 - 8/11
          Presley 8/96 - 11/06


          • #6
            Shadow was beautiful, and I know how much a deep bond with an animal does for your life. It is bittersweet, because we love them so, but it hurts so much more when they leave.
            Chris, Wife to Dave, and Mom three human teenagers.
            Also mom to Tori (11 yo Lab), , Ayla (2 yo brindle dane), Milo (2 yo boxer), Killian (4 week old iw pup who is still with his breeder and mommy) 3 kittens, 2 horses, multiple reptiles, 7 fainting goats, 25 chickens, and 2 pot bellied pigs, all of whom make life great!
            RIP CARLIE 2/09-2/11 & REILLY 10/4/08-11/20/12, best friends together forever now.