I've sat here for over an hour trying to decide what to type as an update. I wish I could tell you it's going to be a good one, but it's not. I'll give you some good news, then a quick update on his spine injury and then I'll just cut and paste most of my FB post to my family and friends about the rest. I just can't type it all out again. My heart is broken and I just don't have it in me anymore to hash it out once more.
Good News:
Phineas turned 6 in April. I missed his birthday post, I'm sorry. He had a wonderful birthday and ate lots of things he shouldn't have. LOL He was a very spoiled woofer who ate steak, had cake and a big bone to chomp on.
Spine update:
Surprisingly, he still is doing quite well. He is still managing it, but his rear end is quite weak. We've got him at the lowest doses possible for muscle relaxer, steroid and pain med. We are now at two years and 1 month post spine injury. Neuro is shocked we've got him doing so well, for so long. The key to our success is no mobility. He eats, drinks, pees and poops standing up and the rest of the day, he is lying down. He has his moments of happy feet when I get home from work, but it's very limited. He tires very easily, but we are ok with that. He'd love to get out and take more car rides, but he just physically can't do it anymore. Our idea of walking him even short distances was short lived. The summer in Southern Florida is too hot on him and ground has a temperature that will burn paws instantly almost. Perhaps when the weather breaks, we'll take some trips out the front yard, lay on a blanket and watch the world pass us by.
Fur Update:
Phineas is currently growing fur! LOL This last round of fur loss was the worst we've seen. He literally was bare on most of his body. About 2 weeks ago, I realized that he had faint baby hairs on his chest, stomach and flanks. When his fur falls out, it leaves behind a light dusting of coarse hair. He is even feeling a bit soft again. We've been down this road before and within the month, it'll probably all fall out again. We have no idea if it is the hypothyroid, the long term steroid use or something totally unrelated that has yet to be diagnosed. It doesn't matter. I'm fine with a bald / pink dane. We are never going to take him off the steroid, so we'll never figure it out and I just don't care anymore. For today, he is growing some baby fuzzy fur back. It'll all fall out again. For today, I'm going to enjoy him being softer then usual.
I literally just sighed getting to this part.... Here it goes:
Bad news cut and pasted:
Today... my heart is broken... and more then anything, we've discovered that Phin's heart is broken too... literally.
It is with more tears then you can imagine, that I write this to share with all you that have loved and followed Phin for the last 6 years, that he was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM) today. It is a diagnosis that isn't rare in our breed, but one that is like a swift punch to the stomach that just takes your breath away. The words from the cardiologist are just drowned out by the internal scream, as the death sentence crosses her lips. I am in shock... crushed... and currently unable to process all this.
We got up yesterday morning and went for a routine cardiac echo-cardiogram (ultrasound), EKG and blood pressure check. We have always gone directly to a cardiologist for these routine exams and today was no different. He hasn't had one in quite some time and since his insurance is about to renew and a new deductible would apply, I figured this was as good of a time as any. His previous cardiac US showed a perfectly beautiful heart with only a few ventricular ectopic beats (a few irregular beats). It was nothing alarming but just something we should watch over the years. It truly was nothing. These weren't even detected this time around.
All day long, I just kept saying to myself, What ....just.... happened? It was a routine visit. And my world just shattered.
For those that don't know what has happened and what will happen, let me give you the nuts and bolts of this devastating news:
Dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM) is a heart disease that effects the hearts ability to pump blood. The upper and lower chambers of the heart become enlarged and the heart no longer functions properly. When the lower chamber stops pumping blood into the lungs efficiently, the lungs fill with fluid and the dog goes into congestive heart failure. There is a two fold issue that goes on with DCM and that is they can develop an arrhythmia because increased heart rate, poor heart function, decreased oxygen supply, etc. A cardiac arrhythmia predisposes a dog to sudden death. They are there one minute and gone the next. DCM itself will continue to progress, as there is no medication to stop it. The heart will continue to fail until the lungs fill with fluid and the dogs literally drowning. While some little dogs can get it, giant breeds are prone to DCM and great danes are on the top of that list.
The problem with DCM, it's a sneaky bastard. It has a long pre-clinical phase, meaning it can go months to years without a single symptom. You're just trucking along and BAM... your dog is almost dead. Most dogs are diagnosed because they are in acute distress and are in congested heart failure. Normal folks don't just run out and chunk down a ton of money to test their dogs perfectly good heart. Most people figure out there is a problem when your dog starts coughing, unable to catch their breath, vet hears a murmur, etc and they learn they are in congested heart failure secondary to DCM. Or unfortunately, their dog just suddenly dies.
So let me give you the exact details of Phin's condition off the report:
Mild to moderate DCM with secondary mitral regurgitation. Mild left atrial enlargement. Today's echocardiogram documents a decline in LV (left ventricle) function and LV dilation. the dilation is leading to a small volume of mitral regurgitation which is the cause of the heart murmur. While the dilation is considered significant (particularly compared to his initial normal baseline in 2013), the function is also declined for this breed (13%). In a senior great dane however, these findings support occult dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM). The left atrium remains only mildly enlarged, indicating a relatively low risk for clinical signs in the near future. No arrhythmia were appreciated, however this risk always remains in this breed.
Basically, he has DCM, but he is more mild to moderate. We feel blessed he is not advanced. His testing puts him about middle of the road in this disease cycle. He isn't good but he isn't at the end either. We have time with him before he becomes symptomatic, but not as much time as you think. DCM can be swift and there is no stopping it.
It's bad but we aren't in a crisis. Phineas will die from DCM. It is a fact. It is a fact I have yet to swallow, but it is a fact. Not 'some day' as I have always planned for him... he will succumb to this disease sooner, rather then later. This is my new truth. I have to figure out how to accept it.
So.... Prognosis... Phin has some things at play that will help him and some things that will diminish him quickly. Prognosis as it was given to me today:
Per the cardiologist: We have no idea how long he has had the DCM and so we have no idea how long he has been in a pre-clinical phase. At least we know when it was NOT DCM because Phin has had a previous heart ultrasound. While there is zero expiration date stamped on the bottom of his foot, cardio can only take a random guess based on his current condition. She says if we are lucky, we may get 6 months to a year if he does well on the meds. It's going to be a wait and see, and she'll know more at his next ultrasound. His size is to his detriment. He is an extra large giant breed and none of that makes this any better.
Per my regular vet: He doesn't think we have 6 months to a year. His experience is, we have months. He said he highly doubts I could get Phin a year, but he isn't even comfortable saying 6 months either. He thinks we have less then a year for sure. It broke his heart to say that to me, but he feels it is the truth. I get that, but he also doesn't find DCM during routine testing. He sees the dogs that are symptomatic. On the other hand, he knows Phin's history and he knows every hair on his body and his thoughts are that Phin is sick... he has been sick for a long time. He has many health issues that are VERY taxing on him as we all know and he feels all that will play a larger role in this.
While it's very very hard for me to find good news in any of this, there is a positive side to this. That is, I am a dane momma, who is hyper vigilant about her great danes care. We discovered the disease before the disease became acute. We are NOT treating from a crisis situation. We are NOT treating from a symptomatic phase. We are ahead of the flood .. for now. Not for long, but for today. That makes a tremendous difference. We aren't starting meds in heart failure and trying to treat him from deaths door, like a lot of danes that do poorly and have to be euthanized shortly after diagnosis. I have seen so many friends devastated by the short time between diagnosis and the passing of their dane. Trust me when I say, that we are ahead of this today. I honestly don't know a single dane friend that's dane was given 6 months to a year after diagnosis of DCM. It's always been, a few weeks, maybe a couple months or they never leave the vet's office at all. DCM is a cruel and vicious disease that shows up way too often in our beloved breed. The fact we've detected this early on, we can attempt to slow the progression and buy Phin more time.
On the flip side... his overall health plays against him. He has been on immune suppressants for years. His spine injury takes a lot out of him. For the last two years, he has just been hanging in there but not much more. A dive in his health will probably take it's toll on him much more rapidly then the average dog. He is no longer a strong dog. When his heart condition progresses, it will be hard on him.
The crux of it is... we for sure have months at least. Maybe we'll get lucky and get 6 months .. a year... This is not good news. This is bad... very bad... this is the beginning of the end. While I have always known he was eventually be gone, this feels like someone flipped over the hour glass and I'm about to watch the sand fall... until the end.
So what are we going to do:
Well, there isn't much you can do. There is one med that the cardiologist says needs to happen to attempt to slow the progression of the disease. It is Pimobendan. She says it's the gold star for asymptomatic DCM in dogs. The problem with this med is, it's expensive. Now amplify that for a dog the size of Phin and the expense gets way bigger. A months supply is $350 for a 190 pound woofer. It's not a human prescribed med in the US. My regular vet is going to check on a price at a compounding pharmacy to see if we can lower the cost. As the disease progresses, there are other meds that will have to be added on and the expense will rapidly grow in coming months. The worse the heart function gets, the worse symptoms will be, and the more meds he will require. We will just treat as we go.
For now, we are going to take the Pimobendan and see what happens. We go back in 4 months for another cardiac ultrasound and EKG to see what progression has been like. Of course, any symptom, even small, they want Phin back in ASAP. While they hope we don't come back during the next 4 months, we just have to see how the med works and how fast the dilation progresses. A cough, panting, fainting or lethargy requires a prompt return for new testing. We are going to log his resting breath rate every day and we should see trouble brewing. When your heart is enlarged like his, the lungs can fill with fluid. As you start to retain fluid, you breath faster trying to oxygenate yourself. So if we watch his resting breath rate, we should be able to notice when he even starts to struggle a little. Of course, we'll provide prompt medical attention then. There isn't any real treatment for DCM, except to treat the symptoms. It will take him, we just want to prolong his life and make him comfortable. Also, he is to do no exercise at all. That's not going to be a problem for my couch potato.
Before you respond to this post, here is my flash point: I'm just saying it now. I'm sorry in advance. One more person tells me that my dog is old, I'm going to freaking snap. One more freaking person tells me that the average life span is 6-8 years (such bullshit), I'm going to flip out. Phin is 6 years and 4 months old. Yes, we consider him a senior dane, but he is not *that* old... I swear to God, tell me that shit to some how make this all seem ok, I'm going to go ballistic. NONE Of this is ok. I understand that times like this it's hard to know what to say. Just please.. do not say these things to me. I'm really at my breaking point and I can't hear that shit again today.
For all my dane owning friends, there are 2 very valuable things I want to pass on to you.
First, get your dane a full cardiac workup. Not just once. Get a baseline done by the age of 2-3. Then get it done again every couple years. If your dane is older then 3, then you should go soon and get it done. Phin's life span will (should) be dramatically longer because we caught the problem before it became a life or death problem. Cardiac care for your dane should be ROUTINE. When you have an echo done, it's only a snap shot of what the heart looks like TODAY. It is not a future telling test. It's good for TODAY, so you have to repeat it again later on.
The big three things that kill danes are bloat (GVD), osteosarcoma and DCM. We do gastropexy procedures for GVD. We are extremely watchful for limb lumps for osteo. You need to take care of the DCM. Do not wait until you are in a critical care situation. These dogs are too big to neglect the one part of their body that their size damages very easily.
Cardio said she has never seen a dane the size of Phin before and that plays greatly into the diagnosis. Since she had baseline measurements from previous routine echos, she was able to determine the EXACT amount of heart change / disease that has occurred. She can tell me exactly where the dilation has occurred and to what extent. His baseline made diagnosing his current status very easy. There is a lot of value in that.
Do NOT neglect the ROUTINE cardiac care for your dog. Yes, it's not cheap. I get it. Listen... KNOWLEDGE IS POWER... It's much easier to make decisions when you have the information you need. You own a giant breed and with that comes a heart pumping blood around a giant body. Cardiac care for a dane should be considered ROUTINE. I can't express that enough. Without Phin's regular office visit to just get the 'ok', we would never have known until he was in congestive heart failure.
Secondly, and I've said this a 100 times... Get your dane health insurance. The cost of care for a giant dog is pricey. A giant dog comes with giant bills. Cardio today was very reluctant to tell me the cost of the meds monthly and suggested I think about what I want to do. "Medicate him.. that's what I want to do, he has insurance." It was a simple answer for me. You don't want to be making life or death decisions based on finances.
Today has been an awful day. I am 50% numb and 50% sobbing my eyes out. I just need some time to work this out and come to terms with it. Phin is like a child to me. He is like a giant toddler that brings me so much joy, each and every day. I wouldn't recognize my life without him. He brings color to everything that is so often just gray. Maybe tomorrow I'll be ready to fight this with him.. but for today, he and I will just snuggle and cry. I have always said that I was going to get Phin to 10 years old. I've joked with my vet that if anything happens before 10 years, I was blaming him. My kissing monster isn't ever going to see 10. While I am not stupid and I know danes don't live a long time, I'm just not ready. Not that I would ever be ready. This blind sided me. He is only 6... he is still so young EVEN for a dane.
I'm losing my goofy boy.. and my heart is just so broken.
There ya have it... The Phineas update. I am working super hard to process all this. I'm reading studies, medicine advise, etc trying to figure out his fate. Let's be honest, I'm trying my best to control the situation and know 'exacts' and it doesn't work like that. I'm not very accepting of all this at this time. I know for certain that Phineas and I are going to fight this until the bitter end. I won't let him go easily and we are going to do everything possible to stop the progression of this horrible disease. I need to pick myself up by my boot straps and hit this hard for him, but for today, I need to wallow. I'm just so heart broken, I can't manage positive at this time. My boy is dying and that is all I can think of ...
I'll update y'all as we go along, but for today he is ok. That's all I've got.
XOXO Love and miss you all.
Good News:
Phineas turned 6 in April. I missed his birthday post, I'm sorry. He had a wonderful birthday and ate lots of things he shouldn't have. LOL He was a very spoiled woofer who ate steak, had cake and a big bone to chomp on.
Spine update:
Surprisingly, he still is doing quite well. He is still managing it, but his rear end is quite weak. We've got him at the lowest doses possible for muscle relaxer, steroid and pain med. We are now at two years and 1 month post spine injury. Neuro is shocked we've got him doing so well, for so long. The key to our success is no mobility. He eats, drinks, pees and poops standing up and the rest of the day, he is lying down. He has his moments of happy feet when I get home from work, but it's very limited. He tires very easily, but we are ok with that. He'd love to get out and take more car rides, but he just physically can't do it anymore. Our idea of walking him even short distances was short lived. The summer in Southern Florida is too hot on him and ground has a temperature that will burn paws instantly almost. Perhaps when the weather breaks, we'll take some trips out the front yard, lay on a blanket and watch the world pass us by.
Fur Update:
Phineas is currently growing fur! LOL This last round of fur loss was the worst we've seen. He literally was bare on most of his body. About 2 weeks ago, I realized that he had faint baby hairs on his chest, stomach and flanks. When his fur falls out, it leaves behind a light dusting of coarse hair. He is even feeling a bit soft again. We've been down this road before and within the month, it'll probably all fall out again. We have no idea if it is the hypothyroid, the long term steroid use or something totally unrelated that has yet to be diagnosed. It doesn't matter. I'm fine with a bald / pink dane. We are never going to take him off the steroid, so we'll never figure it out and I just don't care anymore. For today, he is growing some baby fuzzy fur back. It'll all fall out again. For today, I'm going to enjoy him being softer then usual.
I literally just sighed getting to this part.... Here it goes:
Bad news cut and pasted:
Today... my heart is broken... and more then anything, we've discovered that Phin's heart is broken too... literally.
It is with more tears then you can imagine, that I write this to share with all you that have loved and followed Phin for the last 6 years, that he was diagnosed with dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM) today. It is a diagnosis that isn't rare in our breed, but one that is like a swift punch to the stomach that just takes your breath away. The words from the cardiologist are just drowned out by the internal scream, as the death sentence crosses her lips. I am in shock... crushed... and currently unable to process all this.
We got up yesterday morning and went for a routine cardiac echo-cardiogram (ultrasound), EKG and blood pressure check. We have always gone directly to a cardiologist for these routine exams and today was no different. He hasn't had one in quite some time and since his insurance is about to renew and a new deductible would apply, I figured this was as good of a time as any. His previous cardiac US showed a perfectly beautiful heart with only a few ventricular ectopic beats (a few irregular beats). It was nothing alarming but just something we should watch over the years. It truly was nothing. These weren't even detected this time around.
All day long, I just kept saying to myself, What ....just.... happened? It was a routine visit. And my world just shattered.
For those that don't know what has happened and what will happen, let me give you the nuts and bolts of this devastating news:
Dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM) is a heart disease that effects the hearts ability to pump blood. The upper and lower chambers of the heart become enlarged and the heart no longer functions properly. When the lower chamber stops pumping blood into the lungs efficiently, the lungs fill with fluid and the dog goes into congestive heart failure. There is a two fold issue that goes on with DCM and that is they can develop an arrhythmia because increased heart rate, poor heart function, decreased oxygen supply, etc. A cardiac arrhythmia predisposes a dog to sudden death. They are there one minute and gone the next. DCM itself will continue to progress, as there is no medication to stop it. The heart will continue to fail until the lungs fill with fluid and the dogs literally drowning. While some little dogs can get it, giant breeds are prone to DCM and great danes are on the top of that list.
The problem with DCM, it's a sneaky bastard. It has a long pre-clinical phase, meaning it can go months to years without a single symptom. You're just trucking along and BAM... your dog is almost dead. Most dogs are diagnosed because they are in acute distress and are in congested heart failure. Normal folks don't just run out and chunk down a ton of money to test their dogs perfectly good heart. Most people figure out there is a problem when your dog starts coughing, unable to catch their breath, vet hears a murmur, etc and they learn they are in congested heart failure secondary to DCM. Or unfortunately, their dog just suddenly dies.
So let me give you the exact details of Phin's condition off the report:
Mild to moderate DCM with secondary mitral regurgitation. Mild left atrial enlargement. Today's echocardiogram documents a decline in LV (left ventricle) function and LV dilation. the dilation is leading to a small volume of mitral regurgitation which is the cause of the heart murmur. While the dilation is considered significant (particularly compared to his initial normal baseline in 2013), the function is also declined for this breed (13%). In a senior great dane however, these findings support occult dilated cardiomyopathy (DCM). The left atrium remains only mildly enlarged, indicating a relatively low risk for clinical signs in the near future. No arrhythmia were appreciated, however this risk always remains in this breed.
Basically, he has DCM, but he is more mild to moderate. We feel blessed he is not advanced. His testing puts him about middle of the road in this disease cycle. He isn't good but he isn't at the end either. We have time with him before he becomes symptomatic, but not as much time as you think. DCM can be swift and there is no stopping it.
It's bad but we aren't in a crisis. Phineas will die from DCM. It is a fact. It is a fact I have yet to swallow, but it is a fact. Not 'some day' as I have always planned for him... he will succumb to this disease sooner, rather then later. This is my new truth. I have to figure out how to accept it.
So.... Prognosis... Phin has some things at play that will help him and some things that will diminish him quickly. Prognosis as it was given to me today:
Per the cardiologist: We have no idea how long he has had the DCM and so we have no idea how long he has been in a pre-clinical phase. At least we know when it was NOT DCM because Phin has had a previous heart ultrasound. While there is zero expiration date stamped on the bottom of his foot, cardio can only take a random guess based on his current condition. She says if we are lucky, we may get 6 months to a year if he does well on the meds. It's going to be a wait and see, and she'll know more at his next ultrasound. His size is to his detriment. He is an extra large giant breed and none of that makes this any better.
Per my regular vet: He doesn't think we have 6 months to a year. His experience is, we have months. He said he highly doubts I could get Phin a year, but he isn't even comfortable saying 6 months either. He thinks we have less then a year for sure. It broke his heart to say that to me, but he feels it is the truth. I get that, but he also doesn't find DCM during routine testing. He sees the dogs that are symptomatic. On the other hand, he knows Phin's history and he knows every hair on his body and his thoughts are that Phin is sick... he has been sick for a long time. He has many health issues that are VERY taxing on him as we all know and he feels all that will play a larger role in this.
While it's very very hard for me to find good news in any of this, there is a positive side to this. That is, I am a dane momma, who is hyper vigilant about her great danes care. We discovered the disease before the disease became acute. We are NOT treating from a crisis situation. We are NOT treating from a symptomatic phase. We are ahead of the flood .. for now. Not for long, but for today. That makes a tremendous difference. We aren't starting meds in heart failure and trying to treat him from deaths door, like a lot of danes that do poorly and have to be euthanized shortly after diagnosis. I have seen so many friends devastated by the short time between diagnosis and the passing of their dane. Trust me when I say, that we are ahead of this today. I honestly don't know a single dane friend that's dane was given 6 months to a year after diagnosis of DCM. It's always been, a few weeks, maybe a couple months or they never leave the vet's office at all. DCM is a cruel and vicious disease that shows up way too often in our beloved breed. The fact we've detected this early on, we can attempt to slow the progression and buy Phin more time.
On the flip side... his overall health plays against him. He has been on immune suppressants for years. His spine injury takes a lot out of him. For the last two years, he has just been hanging in there but not much more. A dive in his health will probably take it's toll on him much more rapidly then the average dog. He is no longer a strong dog. When his heart condition progresses, it will be hard on him.
The crux of it is... we for sure have months at least. Maybe we'll get lucky and get 6 months .. a year... This is not good news. This is bad... very bad... this is the beginning of the end. While I have always known he was eventually be gone, this feels like someone flipped over the hour glass and I'm about to watch the sand fall... until the end.
So what are we going to do:
Well, there isn't much you can do. There is one med that the cardiologist says needs to happen to attempt to slow the progression of the disease. It is Pimobendan. She says it's the gold star for asymptomatic DCM in dogs. The problem with this med is, it's expensive. Now amplify that for a dog the size of Phin and the expense gets way bigger. A months supply is $350 for a 190 pound woofer. It's not a human prescribed med in the US. My regular vet is going to check on a price at a compounding pharmacy to see if we can lower the cost. As the disease progresses, there are other meds that will have to be added on and the expense will rapidly grow in coming months. The worse the heart function gets, the worse symptoms will be, and the more meds he will require. We will just treat as we go.
For now, we are going to take the Pimobendan and see what happens. We go back in 4 months for another cardiac ultrasound and EKG to see what progression has been like. Of course, any symptom, even small, they want Phin back in ASAP. While they hope we don't come back during the next 4 months, we just have to see how the med works and how fast the dilation progresses. A cough, panting, fainting or lethargy requires a prompt return for new testing. We are going to log his resting breath rate every day and we should see trouble brewing. When your heart is enlarged like his, the lungs can fill with fluid. As you start to retain fluid, you breath faster trying to oxygenate yourself. So if we watch his resting breath rate, we should be able to notice when he even starts to struggle a little. Of course, we'll provide prompt medical attention then. There isn't any real treatment for DCM, except to treat the symptoms. It will take him, we just want to prolong his life and make him comfortable. Also, he is to do no exercise at all. That's not going to be a problem for my couch potato.
Before you respond to this post, here is my flash point: I'm just saying it now. I'm sorry in advance. One more person tells me that my dog is old, I'm going to freaking snap. One more freaking person tells me that the average life span is 6-8 years (such bullshit), I'm going to flip out. Phin is 6 years and 4 months old. Yes, we consider him a senior dane, but he is not *that* old... I swear to God, tell me that shit to some how make this all seem ok, I'm going to go ballistic. NONE Of this is ok. I understand that times like this it's hard to know what to say. Just please.. do not say these things to me. I'm really at my breaking point and I can't hear that shit again today.
For all my dane owning friends, there are 2 very valuable things I want to pass on to you.
First, get your dane a full cardiac workup. Not just once. Get a baseline done by the age of 2-3. Then get it done again every couple years. If your dane is older then 3, then you should go soon and get it done. Phin's life span will (should) be dramatically longer because we caught the problem before it became a life or death problem. Cardiac care for your dane should be ROUTINE. When you have an echo done, it's only a snap shot of what the heart looks like TODAY. It is not a future telling test. It's good for TODAY, so you have to repeat it again later on.
The big three things that kill danes are bloat (GVD), osteosarcoma and DCM. We do gastropexy procedures for GVD. We are extremely watchful for limb lumps for osteo. You need to take care of the DCM. Do not wait until you are in a critical care situation. These dogs are too big to neglect the one part of their body that their size damages very easily.
Cardio said she has never seen a dane the size of Phin before and that plays greatly into the diagnosis. Since she had baseline measurements from previous routine echos, she was able to determine the EXACT amount of heart change / disease that has occurred. She can tell me exactly where the dilation has occurred and to what extent. His baseline made diagnosing his current status very easy. There is a lot of value in that.
Do NOT neglect the ROUTINE cardiac care for your dog. Yes, it's not cheap. I get it. Listen... KNOWLEDGE IS POWER... It's much easier to make decisions when you have the information you need. You own a giant breed and with that comes a heart pumping blood around a giant body. Cardiac care for a dane should be considered ROUTINE. I can't express that enough. Without Phin's regular office visit to just get the 'ok', we would never have known until he was in congestive heart failure.
Secondly, and I've said this a 100 times... Get your dane health insurance. The cost of care for a giant dog is pricey. A giant dog comes with giant bills. Cardio today was very reluctant to tell me the cost of the meds monthly and suggested I think about what I want to do. "Medicate him.. that's what I want to do, he has insurance." It was a simple answer for me. You don't want to be making life or death decisions based on finances.
Today has been an awful day. I am 50% numb and 50% sobbing my eyes out. I just need some time to work this out and come to terms with it. Phin is like a child to me. He is like a giant toddler that brings me so much joy, each and every day. I wouldn't recognize my life without him. He brings color to everything that is so often just gray. Maybe tomorrow I'll be ready to fight this with him.. but for today, he and I will just snuggle and cry. I have always said that I was going to get Phin to 10 years old. I've joked with my vet that if anything happens before 10 years, I was blaming him. My kissing monster isn't ever going to see 10. While I am not stupid and I know danes don't live a long time, I'm just not ready. Not that I would ever be ready. This blind sided me. He is only 6... he is still so young EVEN for a dane.
I'm losing my goofy boy.. and my heart is just so broken.
There ya have it... The Phineas update. I am working super hard to process all this. I'm reading studies, medicine advise, etc trying to figure out his fate. Let's be honest, I'm trying my best to control the situation and know 'exacts' and it doesn't work like that. I'm not very accepting of all this at this time. I know for certain that Phineas and I are going to fight this until the bitter end. I won't let him go easily and we are going to do everything possible to stop the progression of this horrible disease. I need to pick myself up by my boot straps and hit this hard for him, but for today, I need to wallow. I'm just so heart broken, I can't manage positive at this time. My boy is dying and that is all I can think of ...
I'll update y'all as we go along, but for today he is ok. That's all I've got.
XOXO Love and miss you all.
You are right, it is hard to know what to say. Just know that I feel for you deeply and I wish I could give you a hug. You epitomize the truth of "If love could keep him alive, he'd live forever".
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